Deep Thoughts

I didn't do much this morning. In fact, I didn't get dressed until noon. I didn't have to do any carpooling. I didn't do any play dates for the kids. We had a week of them. I paid some bills and finished some laundry. I spent at least a half hour staring at the entertainment piece Randy installed last night. It's gorgeous! Our master bedroom is looking really beautiful.

Then the rest of the time I thought about the tragic passing of the Vranes' cousins' husband. I kept thinking this morning about how quickly life can change for any of us. Katie Vranes Byrge said goodbye to her husband for the last time on Wednesday morning as he bicycled off to work. I kept imagining how devastating the news was for Katie, especially after she recently lost her amazing mother to cancer. I kept thinking about her sweet children and how heartbreaking it must have been to pull them out of school to deliver the news. And I kept thinking about the next morning waking up and wishing it was all just a terrible awful dream. Katie is an amazing person. And while I never met her husband, I do know that everyone loved him dearly.

Of course, that kind of a tragedy always makes you look inward and contemplate life's bigger questions. I wondered what it would be like to lose Aaron? For me, I'm sure I would never want to remarry. I can't imagine finding a more perfect companion. Maybe I could deal being a widow? As hard and lonely as it would be, I know that the sealing power would give me hope and peace. But the hardest would be navigating through single motherhood. I just couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it would be for the children without a loving father...a father to teach them and love them. Who would take the girls to the daddy-daughter dance and the father-son camp-out? Who would baptize them or give the boys the priesthood? Who would walk through that door at dinnertime each night with hugs and kisses and games? And while friends and family would undoubtedly step in and bless their lives, it would never be the same, it could never be the same.

My heart aches for that beautiful family. And all you can do is hope and pray that God will pour out his blessings upon them and give them patience and peace, always remembering that in the next life it would be right again.